“Post Office random thoughts” November 2012

 “Post Office random thoughts” November 2012

          We had a truck driver who lived in Hickman and caught, dressed, and sold turtle meat.  Well, Jerald Chandler had a habit of throwing up the back door of the mail truck as soon as it stopped at the dock.  On one particular morning the driver had picked up a monster snapping turtle and put it in the back end.  When JW raised the door it was starring him right in the eye, mouth wide open, legs spread and hissing like he meant business.  Needless to say JW Chandler did not get into the truck.  The driver stepped around him and proceeded to unload.

          This fellow kept the turtles alive in a wire enclosure yard and sold them alive or dressed.  I had him bring me turtle meat often and we really like it.  We cut it about the size of a chicken liver or gizzard and battered and fried it.  It was delicious and yes if you have not tried it different areas taste different.  He was way too cheap on his price but he assured me that it was his normal price.                                                                                   J. D. Barclay often made turtle soup and had us all out to his basement for a turtle soup meal.  No one could make better turtle soup or homemade ice cream than he could.

Never forget one old dude, who was drawing disability and would get his mail at home except on check day.  On check he would be limping into the post office with crutch or cane and after he got his check his cane or crutch would barely touch the ground as he trotted to the bank.  He would do without it until about two weeks before check day and he would get one or the other out again.  I really never knew of him to hold a job so I do not know how he qualified.

  Every time I hear of an earthquake somewhere I think of the one we had one time. I think it was in the seventies.  It was a substantial shake and happened soon after the carriers had left the building.  I was in the break room and thought I was in a strong portion of the building and a table beside me so I could roll under the table if need be knowing I could not run if it really got bad.  Jerald and I both noticed the rows of light fixtures were swinging like waves on the ocean.  Jerald ran out the front door just in time to see the chimney at the old jail collapse.  Frosty Barclay was the wisest.  He ran into the vault.  We kidded him that it was to be close to the money as he was known to be a bit frugal.  The building was fairly new and all of a sudden there were several big cracks in the block walls.  One of the carriers said he felt it driving and thought it was going to throw him off the highway.

     I will never forget the year some of us dressed up for Halloween.  I think Bette Chandler was a circus clown with face paint and the brightest orange hair I ever saw.  I remember I was a vampire.  I think Jerald Chandler was dressed as Boob Brassfield of Bisbee and Grand old Opry fame.  I remember Sheila Muscovalley was dressed up as well.  My mom made me a black cape to wear over my uniform.  I talked a reluctant Dr. Canty out of two eye teeth and hot melt glued them to the canine teeth in my denture.  He warned me I might break them with hot glue but I told him if I did he could sell me a new one.  I powdered my face and had red coloring on my lower lip for blood.

   In Clinton word travels fast and faster with the women who stayed home.  At every house or two someone would be waiting for me for someone had called them and told them to watch for me.  Near the end of the route I met Sarah Kimbro, in her car port. She asked me, “Are you ever going to grow up?”  I said, “No Mam, I have to grow old but I refuse to grow up.”  Her response was a big grin and “You just keep that thought.”

   I think it was Charles Long who started the Friday morning safety talks.  Each Friday a different employee would be required to give a talk on safety.  If it was your turn you were expected to bring refreshments.  That is when I found out that Dolores has J. W. Moran make the best fried pies around.  They are still good to this day when she can get him to fry them.  There is no question though that Linda Bailey made the finest blueberry muffins ever eaten.  Her other treats were fine but the blueberry muffin was scrumptious.  I can also almost taste Bette Chandler`s Hello Dollies now that I think about food.  Elsie Lewis also made delicious Hello Dollies I remember.  I had to have the good fortune to be the carrier on the best city mail route anywhere and the customers made it so.

          I know I sometimes upset the postmasters I worked for.  Like the time I was talking to my wife in the ASCS office and noticed a car repeatedly moving back and forth, back and forth.  I immediately thought snake and ran out and stepped in front of him to stop him.  Sure enough there was a three foot chicken snake.  I reached down and picked it up and found it to be very docile.  Maybe it had been handled carefully before.  It seems that they can sense fear and harmful intent.

    I was carrying it to the back yard to release it when Michael Bugg ran out and asked me to wait for him to take a picture.  He was gone for a good time and I was barely holding it when he returned and took his picture.  It then decided to crawl up under my shirt sleeve.  Had I thought I would have let it go on but no I made the mistake of grabbing it too quick I scared it and it bit me on back of my right arm.  Their teeth are tiny but slanted to the rear to help them hold on to prey.  I had to take the index finger of my left hand and the thumb and, with the finger on the lower jaw and thumb on the upper. I carefully pried them apart being careful not to damage the snake.

    I don`t think I mentioned that I am a bleeder and the slightest prick of my skin bleeds as if to be a gaping wound.   With blood to my elbow I walked into the building and asked Bob LeClere if he would pour some peroxide or alcohol on it.  “What have you done?” he asked.  Nothing I said, just a little snake bite. When it was cleaned up you could not see the bite marks.  With the look on his face I was afraid he would stroke on me.  Post masters are supposed to immediately report any accident large or small.  Really though I doubt the snake bit me accidentally.  I think he meant it.

    Over the years with me working on air conditioning and the boiler he had ample injuries to report but something tells me he had enough common sense not to report them all.